Happy First Anniversary that you've been up in perfect heaven! Sure, we all miss you down here but we're happy you're in the most beautiful place imaginable.
Today has actually gone okay. This morning at 1 AM, Vivi and I made sporadic plans to go to your house at 6 in the morning, when the blaze had started one year ago, just because I am that morbid, I suggested it be done. I was just gonna wake up at 5:30 and leave my parents a note telling them where I'd be and just walk out. But as soon as my alarm woke me up I realized I just couldn't handle the trip and the plans were off.
Hopefully, that arrangement fell under the excuse of "It's the thought that counts", haha.
Many memories have been on my mind today. The memory of one year ago, when Vivi, Katy, and I went to visit your home five hours after the fire, when the grass was still wet with water from the fire trucks and the smell of smoke and ash was still pugnent down the entire street. I remember how the wreath was sitting still and perfectly untouched on Sue's window. How our class t-shirt was hanging out your window. There were lots of sad sights and sounds that day. Lots of loving hugs from distraught friends were given. A sense of unity fell upon all of the community. All of Bulloch County's hearts were full.
But today, like I said, went fairly well.
I'm happy for you that a few weeks ago, you recieved twenty new little angels for friends that were all from Newtown, Conn. I bet tey alllll just adore you and Sue. And your mother's chocolate chip pancakes, oooo, yum!
I have a new friend Rachel who is in our Senior class that moved here this summer. I know you would love her! She has been wondering all about you and asks me what you're like a lot. Tonight, the two of us went to Sweetheart Circle, in the very same spot we had our picnic. I lit two candles, one for you and one for Sue, and told Rachel alllll about you darling girls. At the end of the longgg night of talking, I could totally tell that she is so jealous for not getting to know you in person.
I mean, hey! I would be, too!
I could really feel you there, Haley. I kept telling Rachel that I felt like there are other people here at the circle, and of course, no one was. I got in the car and realized that there was a huge possibility that it was you two. I was so moved by tonight, thank you for being there with us today, and every other day.
Haley, I miss you. SO much! As I told Rachel all about you, I missed your hugs, your Just Dance skills, your obssession with Glee, your goofy and crazy cute laugh, I miss your kindness, and your asking if I'd like to be in your group when the teacher would announce group work, and I'd sigh with worry about not having a partner. You were always there, and I miss that to an extreme! I miss your gorgeous genuine smile, your bluntness and silliness. I love you so much and I am so happy for you, and so proud of you for getting all of your Earthly work done and advancing to Heaven! I can't wait to see you again, angel! Save me one of your world-famous hugs. I assume you're still giving them out to everyone you meet<3
RIP.
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